.ju

I hate everything so much,
I hate my dad,
I hate my brain,
I hate that I always hurt my friends without trying,
I hate that I cannot even fake a smile,
I hate my cowardice,
I hate that I cannot control my own life,
I hate that people don't tell me the truth,
I hate that I cannot be decisive and brave for example:
get out of this house,
get a haircut and dye it gold,
move to somewhere else,
tell you I don't want you to say something like that ever again.

i think i'm just like alyssa
maybe someday will find someone like james without the scary creepy thoughts...